Hephaestus TV? Not Anymore!
by silentwolf111
Summary: Ratings are down for Hephaestus TV, and Hephaestus is out of ideas. In his opinion, who wouldn't want to see the worst wife in the world (though she is very beautiful) caught red-handed? Apparently, the gods are bored of this. That's when Hephaestus comes up with the idea for the gods themselves to come up with their very own shows; and things are about to get really whacky.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hey! silentwolf111 here! First things first: the disclaimer. To make things more interesting, let me give it to you in the form of a haiku:**

**I am not a boy**

**So I can't obviously **

**Be Rick Riordan ;)**

**Awesome, huh? Eat your heart out, Apollo; there's a new poetry master in town! Anyway, I am not Mr. Riordan, so I don't own PJO. Secondly, please take the time to review; I really appreciate the constructive criticism, and I am always open to suggestions to improve my writing! Lastly, and certainly most important, enjoy the story! Thanks for reading!**

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_**AND NOW PRESENTING... **_

_**HEPHAESTUS TV? NOT ANYMORE...**_

**PROLOGUE**

A normal day at Olympus: Poseidon and Athena with their usual rivalry, Demeter arguing with Aphrodite that cereal is more important than love, Dionysus passed out on the couch, Apollo reciting haikus (with an angry Artemis right behind him, of course), and the others taking it all in. Zeus, however, had noticed something not quite right.

"Has anyone seen-" he began.

The bickering just got louder.

"Excuse me," he tried again.

Again, no response.

"SILENCE!" Zeus cried in a thundering voice.

Immediately, the throne room was perfectly quiet, except for a drowsy Dionysus who had just woken up.

"Wha-?"

Zeus cleared his throat.

"Much better. Now, as I was trying to say, has anyone seen Hephaestus?"

The gods looked around the room.

"Probably working on something at his workshop," Demeter mumbled.

"Hermes," Zeus ordered. "Find Hephaestus and see what he's up to, would you?"

"Right away," Hermes said as he walked out of the room.

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**HEPHAESTUS'S POV**

I groaned. What to do, what to do! I needed ideas, and quickly. I put my head in my hands and sighed.

Someone knocked, and I heard a voice.

"You there, Hephaestus?"

"Come in," I called back, my voice muffled by my hands.

The door opened, and Hermes walked in.

"You okay?" he asked.

I lifted my head up.

"I'm all right. I just need ideas!"

"What for?"

"My television channel. The ratings are low, and I need more gods to view it!"

Hermes tilted his head and started to think.

"What about you add new shows?"

I considered this idea.

"Now why the Hades would I do that?"

Hermes sighed.

"We gods are starting to get tired of seeing Ares and Aphrodite every time they get together. It's the only thing on Hephaestus TV!"

"But Aphrodite is-"

"-Cheating on you, we _know._" Hermes said this as if he had been told this ten thousand times.

Hermes continued.

"What you need to brighten up your channel is some new shows! You know, things that appeal to all gods."

"And how exactly am I going to come up with an idea that all the gods like?"

Hermes paused for a moment, and snapped his fingers after a few seconds.

"I got it! Why don't you ask each of the gods to come up with their own shows? That way, we're all equally represented, and you get more viewers."

I thought about this, and decided that I liked the idea.

"Hmm… that will do! I must get started right away, there is so much to do! We must make the announcement at once!"

Hermes and I went to the throne room, where the other gods were already seated waiting for me.

"Well?" Zeus asked.

"I have an announcement to make." I declared.

"If it's about Aphrodite, we don't want to hear it," Hera grumbled.

I shot her a look, and continued.

"I can assure you that it is not about my wife. Anyway, I have a favor to ask from all of you. As you already know, my television channel currently has only 1 show."

I saw Aphrodite and Ares shift uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye.

"I need to get my ratings up so more gods will view the channel. This is where you come in; I need you all to come up with 1 show each that will be played on Hephaestus TV regularly. It can be about anything you like, as long as it's somewhat entertaining."

There were excited murmurs exchanged around the throne room. Apollo raised his hand as if he were still in school. Artemis glanced at him and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Apollo?"

"So it can be about anything? As in, _anything_?"

"I guess so."

Apollo smiled slyly, and I could tell he was coming up with ideas that would either boast his "awesomeness" or annoy Artemis. Most likely both.

"So, are you all good with the idea?" I asked.

"Yes, we'll do it." The gods answered in unison.

"I'll bet my show is going to be better than Sea Spawn's," Athena said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah? I bet my show is going to get _way_ more viewers than yours." Poseidon replied with an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Not a chance. My show is going to be purely educational, and…" Athena and Poseidon kept arguing over whose show will outdo the other's.

Hestia glanced their direction with a somewhat sad and tired expression. I sent her a sympathetic smile to let her know I was feeling the same way. I turned to walk out of the throne room, wondering how I was actually related to these guys.


	2. Show Ideas: ARES

**ARES'S POV**

When I heard we got to make our own shows, I was actually kinda surprised. Old Hephy finally realized that trapping me and Aph was NOT cool. Well, I already know what I'm doin' for my show! I'm totally doing a killer show all about how to beat someone, anyone, in a fight! Of course, I'm not giving away _all _my secrets; they don't call me the god of war for nothin'! And the best part is… I'm going to get my entire cabin from Camp to help me out! How's _that_ for child interaction, Zeus?

I got on my bike and rode out to Camp. Boy, won't my kids be stoked to see their dad in person! I got to the entrance, where Chiron greeted me with a bow.

"Lord Ares. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I spat.

"I gotta see my cabin. I have somethin' to ask them."

Chiron looked at the spot where I had spat on the ground, his face looking a bit stunned.

"Of course, my Lord. Go on in."

I put my helmet on my bike and marched in. Campers everywhere looked up at me in awe, probably thinking they should stay away from a tough guy like me. Just how I like it.

I got to Cabin 5, and again admired that it was perfect for my children in every way. The walls were stained bright red, the color of fresh blood. There was a giant boar head attached to the roof, and loud rock music was blaring from the inside. The whole place had an aura of tough, rough, and hardcore. Excellent.

I peeked through the window and chuckled to myself when I saw a couple of my kids rolling on the floor, repeatedly punching and kicking each other. Nothin' like a good fight to liven things up.

I knocked on the door and heard Clarisse shout, "Whaddaya want?"

I grunted. "That isn't a nice way to talk to your father, now is it?"

I listened closely, and nodded when I heard a stunned silence. Whispers flooded the cabin. "Dad? _The_ Lord Ares? HERE?!"

The door opened, and Clarisse popped her head out. I spat again, and waited for a response, arms crossed.

"Well?" I asked.

"No-nothing." Clarisse looked dazed. "Is-is it really you?"

I grunted. I plucked a knife from thin air and shot it into a tree 20 feet away. It lodged itself in, and campers nearby backed away, terrified. I looked back at Clarisse, and tapped my foot, still waiting for a response.

"Oh, wow." Clarisse said, astonished.

She turned back into the cabin, and yelled, "It's him! It's really him!"

The campers crowded the doorway, hoping to get a peek at me. They had to fight their way to the front, and fists went flying everywhere. I smiled, satisfied with myself. Looks like I had taught them well.

Clarisse kneeled, and she motioned for the others to do the same.

"Lord Ares- I mean, Dad, what can we do for you?"

I stood up tall, and tried to look as tough and powerful as I possible could.

"All right, now listen up, punks! Old Hephy finally let us gods take over his TV channel, and now we have to create a show for people to watch."

"I'll bet you have a violent plan, right?" Clarisse asked.

"Of course I do. I'm the god of war. Now, I want you all to help me with this. We're going to create a show on how to beat anyone in a fight. When I say anyone, I mean anyone."

All of Cabin 5 cheered.

"We're going to beat those chumps no matter what it takes!" Clarisse announced triumphantly.

Man, am I proud of that kid.

I clapped her on the back.

"That's my girl! Ok, what I want you all to do is find the victim for our first lesson. Someone who you would just love to beat up to a pulp. Any suggestions?"

Clarisse stepped forward.

"Percy Jackson!"

I closed my fists the second I heard that name. That little punk actually had the guts to fight me, and he claims he won. No one, _no one_, messes with the god of war like that. We have been sworn enemies ever since. No one should ever get on the bad side of a god. Especially not me.

"I have definitely taught you well. Percy Jackson, you say? Perfect. That punk's going down."

Cabin 5 cheered again.

"I'll report back to you guys when I got more ideas and info, got it?" I announced.

"Got it," they chorused back.

I turned and walked away proudly, the campers automatically clearing my path. An excuse to beat up Percy Jackson? I'm liking Hephy's plan better and better…


	3. Show Ideas: DEMETER

**A/N: Hey everyone! To be perfectly honest, I did NOT expect to get so many viewers in one day! Maybe I should have a show on Hephaestus TV... Anyway, you've inspired me to write yet another chapter! 3 in 1 day; that's a new record for me! So, thank you thank you thank you! Here's to my two reviewers:**

**JesusIsMyLord: Thank you! I promise I will update as frequently as possible! ;)**

**And to my anonymous guest: I'm so glad you liked my haiku! And I agree, you just gotta love Ares! :)**

**Peace out!**

**~silentwolf111**

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**DEMETER'S POV**

I was confused, yet delighted. Not a normal mixture of emotions for me. Hephaestus had actually trusted us to handle his beloved television channel? According to me, he really should have known better. To put something that valuable to him into irresponsible hands such as those of Dionysus or, worst of all, Hades? Bad choice. That despicable Death Brat was a menace to my sweet daughter.

However, I immediately found the perfect television show idea. It would appeal to everyone, making them healthy while also giving them entertainment. Best of all, it was most delicious. My brilliant idea was to host a cooking show! But not just any cooking show; mine would focus on how to make different types of nutritious and healthy cereal!

I even had an excellent name: Demeter's Delicious Delicacies! Or the triple D, for short. I was rather proud of myself for coming up with the idea. In fact, now that I think about it, I guess Hephaestus didn't make that bad a decision after all. At least he would have Athena, Hestia, Artemis and I to make up for Death Brat's miserable thing he called a show. We were the most levelheaded ones, after all.

But there was one catch; being the goddess of agriculture, most other gods (and Death Brat, if he had the good sense to watch my show) would have a hard time gathering the proper ingredients for some of my most complicated recipes. So I would have to make my recipes simple and easy to make, yet very healthy and nutritious. Not to mention delicious. That is part of the title, after all.

Traveling to the Underworld to visit my beloved daughter, I pondered on which type of cereal to share first. Perhaps corn flakes? No, too simple. Corn flakes with a touch of fruit? Yes, that would do.

I reached the underworld and entered the palace of Death Brat. I strolled into the throne room, and sure enough, there he was, sitting like an oaf whilst eating pomegranate seeds.

"Where have you kept my daughter?" I demanded.

He looked up at me and sighed.

"Welcome, Demeter. Glad to see you." the sarcasm in his voice was easily detectable.

"I'll have you know that you are a slimy little bra-"

I was about to let him have it when Persephone came running into the room.

"Mother! I'm so happy to see you!" she cried as she rushed in to hug me.

"Yes, dear. Me too." I happily hugged her back.

"Why have you come at such a random time?"

"Well, dear, I have some pretty exciting news."

Persephone looked eager to hear what I was about to say, while I saw Hades yawn. Seriously, that man has no respect.

"Hephaestus has decided to let each god come up with their own show for Hephaestus TV!"

Persephone smiled politely.

"Do you have an idea yet?"

"Not only do I have an idea, but it is the best idea in the history of ideas! Get ready for… Demeter's Delicious Delicacies!" I exclaimed proudly.

Persephone looked at me quizzically.

"And what delicacies exactly will you be teaching your viewers how to make?"

I sighed, having thought she would have known the answer already.

"Why, cereal of course! What better delicacy to share with the world than cereal?"

Persephone's smile faded, and she let out a groan.

"Mother! Not again!"

"What do you mean, not again?"

Hades spoke up.

"Demeter, darling-"

"Do NOT call me that! Do you have any idea-"

"Mother!" Persephone interrupted. "Calm down. Let him finish."

I huffed out a breath angrily.

"Demeter," Hades said in a softer, more cautious voice, "Sometimes you do go just a bit overboard when it comes to cereal."

At this point, I had had enough.

"You despicable brat! Did you have any idea that cereal is what keeps this world alive? I am the goddess who provides crops, harvests, and almost all the food in the world. It is because of me that the Earth is prospering today. Did you have any idea at all? I thought not!"

I turned and stormed out of his palace, leaving Persephone even more annoyed with me. But that was all right. I was her mother, after all.

Who were they to think they can insult me like that? Cereal not important? Humph. I'll show them…


	4. Show Ideas: APOLLO

**APOLLO'S POV**

The one thing I have to say: Thank you Hephaestus! Finally, _finally_, I get to show my awesome talents to the world! The only thing I need to decide is what to show them…

I lay in bed, trying to decide what to put on my show. I mean, come on! I am amazing at so many different things! How the Hades am I ever going to be able to choose one of them?! Let's see, there's my beautiful poetry, annoying Arty, my incredible looks, my music skills, my healing talents, annoying Arty, my prophecy talents, and my awesome sun chariot! Oh, did I mention annoying Arty?

Hmm, what to do? My talents need to be shared with the world somehow! Oh, got it! I'll combine everything into one big huge show! I'll call it, um, I'll think of that part later.

As always, my curiosity urged me to find out what Arty was doing. Knowing her, she'd probably be coming up with something that would most likely insult men. Namely me. Oh, how we had a special bond.

I hopped out of bed, stretched and yawned, and got into my sun chariot. I figured I would visit Arty although she would probably end up getting mad at me and kicking me out yet again. No big surprise there.

I turned the keys of my Maserati-chariot, and thought about the time I had let Zeus's daughter Thalia drive. I shuddered, remembering how she had almost burned Camp Half-Blood and had almost gotten us killed. Well, everyone but me, of course. And Arty's hunters. So really just herself and her friends…

I drove my chariot into the sky and sighed as I came closer and closer to the Hunters' camp. Once I parked outside their tents, I got out and tried to look as cool as possible. These girls were really something, if you know what I mean.

I walked toward Arty's tent, and spotted a huntress nearby picking fruit off a tree. I wolf whistled, and immediately knew I had made a mistake. Quick as lightning the huntress had loaded her bow and silver arrows came whizzing by me on all sides.

"Okay, okay! I can take a hint!" I called as I dodged and ran away.

Panting, I ran until I reached the biggest tent of all. I peeked inside, and sure enough, my sister was still fast asleep. I snuck in quietly and crouched beside her, leaning over her face. Time for a wake up call!

"Hey there!" I said loudly.

She screamed.

"APOLLO! _What_ on Olympus are you _doing_?! Are you _insane_?! Wait, of course you are!"

I scoffed, letting that one slide.

She sat up and put her hand over her chest, breathing heavily.

"Holy Zeus, you scared me to Tartarus!" she sternly said, furious with me.

"Whoa, I just dropped in to say hi, that's all!" I said, holding my hands up in defense.

"Do NOT ever even think about doing that again!"

"Chillax, sis." I attempted to calm her down. Wait! I know what will make her feel better…

I held up my hands dramatically.

"I think I feel a haiku coming on!"

Artemis groaned and continued to scold me.

"Apollo, not the first thing in the morning! Gods, when will you learn-"

I cut her off with my haiku.

_"I stopped by to say_

_Hi to my little sister_

_She screamed at me"_

I paused and grinned, proud of myself.

Artemis stared at me.

"That last line was 4 syllables. And I am NOT your little sister! I helped mother give birth to you!"

She considered her words.

"And that obviously was my first mistake…"

I frowned at her. Of course I was older.

"Anyway," I continued. "I wanted to ask you something."

"NO, you can NOT flirt with my hunters." she immediately replied.

"That wasn't what I was going to say."

She tilted her head to the side, waiting for me to go on.

"So, what are you going to do for old Hammer's channel?"

She groaned again.

"You irresponsible- ugh, never mind. You obviously don't care. So you came here to get ideas from _me_? Don't you already know me well enough to find some idea about my cares?"

"Not really," I said sheepishly.

"For crying out loud, you are my twin! And the god of prophecies! Liar!"

I rolled my eyes. Was there nothing I could keep from her?

"Okay, I may have some idea. But what are you doing?"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because you are my sister and you love me more than anything?" I tried.

As a response I got a pillow to my face.

"Ow," I said, rubbing my nose.

Artemis scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"For Zeus's sake, it was just a pillow. And you are the god of healing."

"But Arty, it hurt!" I whined in a high voice, trying not to smile.

She flashed her eyes at me.

"Don't call me that! And get out!"

"Fine, fine!"

I crawled out of the tent and walked back to my chariot. Suddenly, I heard a whizzing past my left ear as a silver arrow shot past me, then another, and another.

I turned, and my sister was chasing me, her bow loaded.

"What gives?" I called to her.

"Phoebe tells me you tried to flirt with her! What did I tell you!" she screamed, full of rage.

I ran away, laughing as I went. About my show- If I had to choose one talent to showcase, I'm pretty sure "Annoy Arty" is the clear winner. But my viewers are still going to get all of my awesomeness packed together. Boy, this is going to be so much fun…


	5. Show Ideas: ATHENA

**A/N: Hey again! Thanks to everyone who read; I am so happy to have so many viewers! Anyway, enjoy this chapter (though it is a bit shorter than the rest... it was a little hard writing from Athena's POV...)! Don't forget to review!**

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**ATHENA'S POV**

Sea Spawn thinks his television show is going to be better than mine? He doesn't stand a chance. Ha, he's so ignorant. I'll bet he doesn't even know who he's messing with: challenge me and you'll suffer.

As for my show, I have chosen something that would definitely have a positive impact on every god who watched. I decided to correct the beliefs of foolish mortals by critiquing Greek "myths". What better opportunity to acknowledge the truth than on public television!

I had also picked the perfect myth to start out with, and it involved me beating Poseidon and gaining respect of the citizens of Greece. A perfect way to launch my show! I had done lots of research on the myth, and agreed that everything about it was perfect. This is what happened:

Long ago, in ancient Greece, the people of Athens (then called Attica) needed a patron deity. The two competitors happened to be me and Sea Spawn. To determine which one of us would lead Attica, we each had to give the citizens one gift each. The citizens then picked which one of us gave the better gift.

Sea Spawn ended up giving them a fountain of salt water. Salt water? Two words: how pathetic. I, on the other hand, had decided to give the people of Attica what they really needed. I gave them an olive tree; it provided food, oil (which could then be burnt to make fire), and basically materials essential for the city to prosper. Of course, the citizens chose me as the winner, and the city was renamed Athens in my honor.

I confirm this "myth" is true. And now everyone else will know the truth when I tell them on television!

I was at my desk, thinking as usual, when a rippling image shimmered in front of me. An Iris message? Now?

"What the Hades?" I muttered.

I reached out and touched the image, and the vision suddenly became clear. The picture showed two people on the beach, holding hands. I squinted, trying to see them better. There was a girl with blonde hair and a boy with black hair.

"Why would someone send me an-" I began.

Then realization hit me and I gasped. Someone had sent me an Iris-message of Kelp Head's spawn dating my daughter! And I think I know who…

"HOW DARE HE!" I shrieked.

Annabeth and the boy turned around, and Annabeth gasped at the sight of me.

"Mother! What are you doing here?!" she screamed, blushing bright red.

Oops. I had completely forgotten that they could both see and hear me… I quickly stuck out my hand, and the Iris message dissolved. I sat there, fuming over this. I already thought it was bad enough that they were dating; I did not need to have this rubbed in my face! I made a mental note to have a talk with my dear uncle…

Hmm… I needed to get revenge. But how to do it? I thought and thought and then it hit me. Maybe I could focus my show on myths of Poseidon! But not just any myths: these myths would make him look bad. On public television! I would keep the myth I had originally planned on starting off; it already made him look bad by none other than the goddess of wisdom herself! Perfect…

I rubbed my hands together, looking forward to put my evil plan into action…


	6. Show Ideas: APHRODITE

**A/N again! Ok, so I'm going to start making these just a bit briefer, so that's why they're getting just a bit shorter! (I guess I'm just excited to get to the part where the shows play live on TV...) Haha so I thought I should just let you all know... And here's to my new reviewers!**

**aperson: Hahahaha! looks like you and Demeter would be really good friends!**

**Beaulover: I'll keep updating til this thing's finished, for sure! I promise! :)**

**LeviosaLove: Thank you so much! I'll definitely keep writing! **

**TheHolyMango: Thanks! I'm glad you like it!**

**Again, thank you guys so much for reading! Really, you don't know how much I appreciate it! Stay awesome!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

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**APHRODITE'S POV**

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I finally found something to appreciate in my husband! Looks like he finally came to his senses and realized that trapping me and Ares was _so_ old! And his idea to let us make our own shows? Just brill!

I was going to do a bit of meddling later that day; messing with the most adorable couples is so cute! That day's pick was to mess with Jason and my daughter Piper, the cutest couple ever in my opinion!

I was thinking of ways to mess with them, when it suddenly struck me! My show idea! I should do a blind date show! It's the most perfect way to get cute couples together! I'll be doing a favor, spreading love around the world!

I heard a knock on my door, and Ares came busting in.

"Hey Aph," he said coolly.

"Hi," I replied.

"What's with the huge smile?"

I explained my plan to him, and he nodded in agreement.

"Isn't it an amazing idea? Blind dates! How exciting!" I squealed with enthusiasm.

"Sure, hon." Ares replied.

We continued to chat until I realized that I had better get started on my show soon. It would take me a long time to find the perfect people for my show, and Ares was distracting me from my work!

"Okay, I better get working! Bye bye now!" I said quickly, pushing him out the door.

I shut the door on him, and paced around the room trying to think of who to feature on my show. Let's see, I needed someone who had a hard time finding love, someone who's usually quiet and reserved.

I cried in frustration. I didn't know anyone like that! Every demigod I'd ever met has fallen in love, thanks to me!

I took a deep breath and cleared my head. Okay, why don't I go to camp to see who I could feature on my show? Yes, that sounds like a good idea.

I looked in the mirror to make sure I looked irresistible, and set off for camp. When I got to the entrance, I greeted Chiron and marched into the cabin grounds. Looking around, I could see the campers staring at me, their mouths hanging open. I flashed them a smile, and kept moving.

Now all I had to do is find out which cabin was the most depressing. Well, that was easy; it was obviously Hades's cabin! I peered in through the window, and saw that there was only one inhabitant; a boy with a pale face and oily black hair. He looked just like his father, with a very depressing aura.

I smiled. This boy could obviously use some love in his life! What was his name again? Oh yes, Nico DiAngelo. I looked at him again and shook my head. Oh Nico, you are certainly in for a big surprise…


	7. Show Ideas: DIONYSUS

**A/N: (these are starting to get regular... XD) Why hello again! Just wanted to acknowledge my three new reviewers:**

**rrfanman: Probably! Or maybe I might just throw in a new twist; this is Aphrodite we're talking about! Haha thanks for reading... :)**

**NeonHedgehog: Thank you! I'm so happy you like it so far!**

**Kaldi97: Thanks! ;)**

**Whoa, looks like I might beat my record from yesterday and write more than 3 chapters... We'll just see! Ok, I'll let you read now. :)**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111 **

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**DIONYSUS'S POV**

Thanks to Hephaestus, I found an excuse to ask Zeus to allow me to drink wine again! I can't wait until I get my hands on the sweet, heavenly drink I love so much.

Here's my plan: I am going to travel around to the best wine shops to sample all the different types of wine! Wine reviews: everybody wins. Or at least I win.

I was in my office at camp, slurping a can of Diet Coke, when the most annoying boy bursts into the room.

"Mr. D!" he called.

I looked up.

"Peter Johnson. Anything you would like to tell me?"

"It's Percy Jackson," he corrected.

"Whatever." I continued drinking my Coke.

"Mr. D, come outside!"

"What do you want?" I was beginning to get frustrated with this boy.

"You have to come and see!"

I grumbled, and set down my Coke. I walked outside to find a huge thundercloud hovering over the Camp.

"Holy Zeus…" I said in awe.

The thundercloud rumbled and shot out lightning. Campers were screaming and running everywhere. Suddenly, the thundercloud opened up and Zeus came floating down.

I kneeled, and acknowledged him.

"Lord Zeus."

He looked down at me, and motioned for me to get up.

"Dionysus. I understand you have a request?"

I nodded. Hopefully he would agree with me…

"I have an idea for Hephaestus TV, but I'll need you to grant me a request first."

Zeus nodded.

"I'm listening…"

I continued.

"I want to sample different types of wines, and give viewers reviews. But I'm going to need your approval…"

I paused, anxious to hear what he was going to say.

Zeus thought about this, and snapped his finger.

"All right. But on one condition. You are allowed to drink wine for this show, and this show only."

I smiled eagerly.

"Is that all?"

Zeus shook his head.

"One more thing; your time here at Camp has to be extended for 50 more years."

My shoulders sank, and my smile disappeared.

"What! 100 years isn't enough?!" I pouted.

"That is my final say," Zeus said firmly.

I sighed.

"All right, you have a deal. I'll work here another-ugh-50 years."

Zeus nodded, and disappeared in a flash of lightning.

"So that means we're stuck with you for longer now?" a voice called from behind me.

I whipped around.

"Who said that?!" I said.

All fingers pointed to Johnson.

"Peter Johnson, when I get my hands on you, I'll-"

"That's enough," Chiron intervened. "Why don't you go back to your office," he suggested.

I huffed out a breath, shot one last look at Johnson, and walked back to my office. 50 years, no problem. At least I would get my wine back…


	8. Show Ideas: ARTEMIS

**ARTEMIS'S POV**

I am rather fond of Hephaestus's idea; my show is going to be so much fun to do, and that's saying something. The world should get ready for…

How to Get Back at an Annoying Immortal Brother! That's right, I am going to teach other struggling siblings how to right their brothers' wrongs. And I am going to use my own dear brother as an example; he always seeks an opportunity to annoy me!

I was sitting in my tent fuming shortly after his latest wakeup call, when one of my huntresses Phoebe came running in complaining to me.

"Lady Artemis! Your brother!" she spluttered.

"Yes? What is it? What did he do this time?" I asked.

"He whistled at me! He tried to flirt with me!" she screamed.

I immediately grabbed my bow and ran after Apollo, repeatedly shooting arrows as I chased him away.

He turned and called out to me.

"What gives?"

The ignorant maniac. And he calls himself the most important god.

"Phoebe tells me you tried to flirt with her! What did I tell you?!" I screamed at him.

He ran away, laughing. Laughing! The nerve of some people!

I gave up trying to shoot him, and sat down. This was the last straw. Time to ponder my revenge. I thought for a while, and that's when I came up with the idea to take revenge on my brother on public television. Maybe I could get Hephaestus to help by booby-trapping Apollo's throne and hide a camera to record the entire thing. No, then Zeus would be angry with me forever. How about I do something to insult his appearance? Oh, I know…

I came up with a brilliant idea that would be perfect for my first show. At night, I got my huntresses to climb in my moon chariot, and we flew over to Apollo's palace as we pulled the moon up. I parked outside, and we snuck in quietly.

We went into his bedroom, and paused as we heard him in the bathroom, singing his heart out in the shower. My huntresses covered their ears at the terrible noise. Sometimes I wonder why Zeus agreed to let him be the god of music…

Now to put my plan into action! I ran around Apollo's bedroom, collecting every picture of him that was displayed. I distributed the pictures to the huntresses, and together we drew all over them with marker, adding mustaches and glasses everywhere. We hung up the pictures again, set up a camera, and I left a note that said, "Surprise!"

After that, we hid right outside the door and waited as we heard Apollo enter the bedroom again.

We snickered as we listened to Apollo walk around the room, muttering, "What the Hades?"

Then he found my note and groaned.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Arty. Wait a second, is that a camera?"

Realization dawned on him, and he gasped.

"No! You wouldn't!"

I charged into the room, and Apollo tried to block me as I grabbed the camera and ran back out the door.

"Bye!" I called out to my brother as my huntresses and I piled back into my chariot.

My plan had been a success! I couldn't wait until this was shown on TV…


	9. Show Ideas: HERMES

**A/N: I'm baaaack! So I just wanted to say thank you to my latest reviewer:**

**Planetgirl: I am so happy you liked it! Thanks for reading!**

**Ok, so that's all! :) Enjoy the new chapter!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**HERMES'S POV**

Haha, this is going to be so awesome! Hephaestus actually agreed with my idea, and everyone looks pretty excited about it, especially me! I personally came up with a show that's not only entertaining to watch, but entertaining to do as well:

Top 10 Pranks for Every Event! I'm going to be doing a show featuring the best pranks to pull at any event. Episode 1: Top 10 pranks to pull at a party!

Of course, who better to invite to a party than the Olympians themselves? It would be a great opportunity to get material! Not to mention have tons of fun, too!

I sent out invitations right away, and was pleased to find that everyone was available to come. Man, this was going to be so much fun!

_AT THE PARTY…_

I walked around, making sure that nobody was paying attention to what I was doing. When I was confident that no one saw me, I snuck around to the closet and grabbed the materials for the prank: a rubber (but realistic-looking) spider, a thin, almost invisible cord, and a fishing rod. I tied the cord around the spider, and fastened it to the fishing rod.

I smiled. Ready. I got up and tripped over a box, knocking it over with a loud CRASH!

"Di immortales," I cursed, dusting myself off.

I froze when I heard footsteps coming my way. Oh no. I crouched into the corner, bracing myself. The door creaked open, and a figure stepped into the room.

"Hermes?" a familiar voice called. "Are you all right?"

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Apollo, it's just you. Yes, I'm fine."

He studied me, the bizarre collection of items in my hands.

"What exactly are you doing?"

I tensed up for a second, then figured I could use Apollo to my advantage.

"Going to pull a prank. It's for my show. Want to help?"

As I predicted, he immediately agreed.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do…"

I explained my plan to Apollo, and he eagerly nodded.

We snuck outside quietly, I hid behind the couch, and my plan began to unfold.

I watched as Apollo casually approached the other gods, then let out a bloodcurdling shriek.

"SP-SPIDER! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIVES!"

Gods, he was good.

The reaction was priceless; everyone froze and stared at the spot Apollo was pointing to. That's my cue! I slowly reeled in the fishing line, and watched as the spider started to move in a realistic fashion.

"IT'S ALIVE! AAAAHHHH! SPIDER! AAAHHHH!" Athena was freaking out, running away wildly.

I silently snickered, and watched as Apollo did the same. Wow, they were so gullible! I continued to tug on the cord while the others screamed and ran around in a panicked frenzy. To my disappointment, Hephaestus ended the excitement.

"Guys, it's obviously a fake," he said as he picked up the fake spider and let it dangle from his fingers. Athena looked like she was going to faint.

Hephaestus quickly scanned the room and suddenly stood up straight.

"Hermes!" he bellowed.

I came out of my hiding place, and screamed, "Run for it!"

Apollo took the hint and we both dashed out the door while being chased by an angry mob of gods.

We ran until we collapsed from laughing so hard.

"So this is going to be shown on TV?" he breathed.

"Yeah. I can't wait to see their reaction!" I said, panting. Boy oh boy, this was going to be the best…

.


	10. Show Ideas: POSEIDON

**A/N: Hello yet again! I'm back with a response to my newest reviewer:**

**Balletdancer5678: WOW! Thank you so much! You are the nicest person ever!**

**All right, so enjoy this next chapter!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**POSEIDON'S POV**

I grumbled as I walked out of the throne room. That big-brained goddess keeps attacking me for no reason! What's the point of this? I really don't see what the big deal is!

So what if Percy is dating her daughter? My son has finally found love! It's the only happy part of his twisted life of a demigod, and I'm happy for him! Athena has to come along and ruin the happy moment, as she always does!

I sighed. Okay, enough about her. I have more important things to focus on. Like my TV show. I have absolutely no idea what to do! I'm just too busy; ruling over all the oceans and seas is a hard job!

I was sitting on my throne, deep in thought, so of course the visit from my brother not only caught me off guard but startled me as well.

He just materialized in front of me with a flash of lightning, out of nowhere.

"Um, brother!" I said, surprised at his random visit. "Why are you here? Has something happened?"

"Calm down, brother," Zeus replied. "I have a favor to ask of you,"

I leaned forward. A favor? From _me_?

"I need you to team up with me so we could create a show together," he said in one breath.

I sat up straight, stunned by his words.

"Is that all? Why, of course I'll help you!" I said.

"Yes, about that, there's one more thing you should know-" Zeus began.

"Hello, brothers." Zeus was cut off by a shady figure.

My jaw dropped.

_Hades_? This is starting to get weird.

I turned to Zeus.

"You've asked Hades too? Whatever is this all about?"

"Yes, brother, it isn't every day that you call on both of us to help you." Hades agreed.

Zeus looked at us.

"I need our show to be bigger than all the others'! We are the most powerful gods of Olympus!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Now you are starting to sound like Athena!"

Zeus glared at me.

"Who the Hades are you to…" he trailed off when he saw Hades shooting him a look.

"I would really appreciate it, brother, if you stopped using my name to curse."

Zeus shook his head.

"Anyway, I thought it would be a good idea to show off our power and strength on public television!"

Hades and I looked at him quizzically.

"Let me get this straight; you want the viewers to see how I rule over the depressing Underworld? You want them to see my power over the merciless souls that roam the Fields of Asphodel?" Hades said.

Zeus hesitated, then nodded.

"It would show them not to mess with us! Don't you see?"

"You just want to convince them that you are the most powerful, don't you?" I guessed.

Zeus flashed me a look.

"Don't you talk that way to me! I am the king of the heavens!"

Hades sighed.

"Yes, we got that. You rule the heavens, Poseidon rules the seas, and I rule the Underworld. This was decided centuries ago. Are we done here?"

Zeus stared at us, trying to find the right words.

"Y-yes, of course. So will you do it?"

Hades and I exchanged looks, and turned back to Zeus.

"Fine," I said.

Zeus nodded, and vanished in a flash of lightning.

"I must be going as well," Hades said.

He went up in a cloud of smoke, and disappeared.

I leaned back in my throne. My brothers and I working together? Something tells me this isn't going to end well…


	11. Show Time!

**A/N: Okay, this is it! The moment you've all been waiting for! The gods' shows are finished, and it's time to watch them as a group! But before that, I have one last acknowledgement to my latest reviewer:**

**Beaulover: I'm happy you thought it was funny! Thanks for reading! :)**

**All right, I'm not going to keep you waiting any longer! Enjoy!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**HEPHAESTUS'S POV**

I stood in front of the throne room, watching as a bunch of excited gods and goddesses eagerly waited for me to speak.

"Ahem. Well, this is it! The first viewing of your shows! All of your hard work is finally going to pay off starting today! I want to thank those of you who participated, which would be everyone except for Hestia and Hera…"

I paused as everyone glanced their way.

Hestia shrugged, and stated, "I do not want to take part in something that could eventually result in head-to-head competition. I'd rather keep the peace."

"Yes, me too," Hera said.

I continued.

"Yes, well, let's get started! It's the moment you've all been waiting for! Presenting the new and improved Hephaestus TV!"

"Excuse me," Athena said. "Shouldn't you rename the channel since we're all a part of it now?"

I thought about this, then shook my head.

"It's my invention, so no." I said.

Then Aphrodite spoke up.

"Sweetie," she began.

"Oh, what now? Gods, can't we get started already?" I was beginning to lose my patience.

"Okay, well, what are you going to do for a show?" Aprodite said.

I glared at her.

"Don't you remember? I use yours and Ares's suffering as entertainment," I stated.

"I was hoping you'd forget," she mumbled.

"All right. Anything else?" I asked.

Silence.

"Okay. Then let's finally get started!"

I pressed a button, and a giant television screen lowered down from a compartment above.

"I give you… Hephaestus TV!" I declared.


	12. Viewing: ARTEMIS

**A/N: Okay, just to make this clear, the bold print is the show dialogue, and the regular print is what happens in the throne room. :) Just clearing it up!**

* * *

**ARTEMIS'S POV**

"First up is Artemis's show, called How to Get Back at an Annoying Immortal Brother!" Hephaestus announced.

I glanced at Apollo and saw his jaw drop. I smiled.

The show started playing, and the throne room grew quiet.

The show started off with me and my Huntresses outside Apollo's palace.

**"Okay, so here we are outside my brother's palace,"** the me on TV said. **"This is way number 1 ****to take revenge. Girls, get ready to have some fun!"**

A few of the gods were laughing already. Hephaestus quieted them down, and they turned their attention back to the screen.

**"This is Apollo's bedroom,"**TV-me whispered.**"Oh my gods, what is that noise?! Is he singing in the shower?!" **

At this point everyone in the room (except for Apollo) was rolling on the floor. Apollo leaned over to me.

"Well, someone's being especially evil!" he whispered.

I smiled and shrugged.

"It's what I do."

We turned back to the screen.

**"All right, it's time,"** TV-me said. **"Girls, let's go!"**

We watched as TV-me and the Huntresses doodled all over Apollo's pictures and hung them up again. TV-me left the note, and we went to hide.

TV-Apollo came out of the bathroom, and froze when he saw what I had done. Everyone doubled over laughing, tears streaming out of their eyes. I had even gotten Zeus to laugh!

**"What the Hades?"** TV-Apollo mumbled.

Hades shot Apollo a look. Apollo shrugged.

TV-Apollo then turned around to find my note.

**"Ha-ha, Arty, very funny."**

Hermes gave me a thumbs-up.

TV-Apollo walked around the room, and saw the camera.

**"No! You wouldn't!"**

"Oh, but she did," Demeter replied with a smile.

TV-me barged into the room, where TV-Apollo and TV-me had a quick wrestling match before TV-me grabbed the camera and ran out the door.

**"Bye!"** TV-me called.

TV-me and the Huntresses piled into the moon chariot, and the camera focused on the Huntresses.

**"And this is yet another reason that women are superior to men,"** TV-Phoebe said.

This caused annoyed glances from all the men in the room.

**"Yes, we surely are. Join us next time in 'How to Get Back at an Annoying Immortal Brother'! Thanks for watching!"** TV-me said.

The screen went dark, and everyone gave me a standing ovation. Everyone but my brother, of course, who turned to me with a look of slight terror.

"There's going to be a next time?" Apollo asked me.

I patted his shoulder.

"Brother dear, we're immortal. It's never going to end."


	13. Viewing: APHRODITE

**A/N: Hope you guys like the story so far! If you do, or have any suggestions to make it better, please leave a review; I LOVE to hear what you have to say! So, anyway, thank you to my 2 latest reviewers:**

**rrfanman: Hahaha! Sorry, but I think I'm on Artemis's side with this one! ;) Thanks so much for R&R ing!**

**PJO Fan: Thank you! Yeah, I guess I wanted to make Artemis a little more exciting! :) **

**All right, that's all I have to say! **

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**APHRODITE'S POV**

"All right, well, that sure was a hilarious way to start off the night!" Hephaestus announced.

I saw Apollo cross his arms and glare at his sister.

"Anyway, next up we have Aphrodite with…" Hephaestus trailed off, starting at the card angrily.

"What?" Hera asked.

Hephaestus grunted.

"Her TV show, 'Let's Find Love'," Hephaestus finished, giving me a harsh look.

I sighed.

"Darling, I'm not the one looking for a date. I'm helping _others_ find a date!" I explained.

Hephaestus didn't look too convinced that I wasn't cheating on him again, but he pressed play anyway.

The show started with a clip of me.

**"Hello, and welcome to 'Let's Find Love', the show that helps people of any background find romance! Hosted by the goddess of love herself, it's impossible for these couples to not be perfect for each other! Today's lucky contestant is the one and only son of Hades, Nico DiAngelo!" **TV-me said.

Hades looked at me, panicked.

"Aphrodite, what did you do to him?!"

I looked at him.

"What do you mean? I just found the perfect person for the poor little guy! He needed a bit of romance in his life, you'll see!"

Everyone groaned.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Um, Aphrodite, everyone knows that bad things always result from your meddling," Hermes commented.

"Well, no one asked you, did they?" I huffed.

"Actually, you kinda did," Hermes muttered.

"Oh, just pay attention to the screen!"

The camera zoomed out to show Nico sitting in a chair with a wall separating him from the rest of the room.

**"Alright, Nico, there are three special girls waiting for you on the other side of that wall! All you have to do is ask them each 1 question, then pick the one you like best in the end!" **TV-me said.

**"Okay,"** TV-Nico said. **"Girl number 1, what is your best talent?**

**"I am a strong fighter, and I am always there for my friends!" **came the reply.

**"Girl number 2, what do you value most in yourself?"**

**"My ability to think before I act!"**

**"And, finally, girl number 3, who is your role model in life?"**

**"My totally awesome dad! He is the best!"**

"Is it me, or do they seem a little, er, robotic?" Poseidon mumbled. Everyone who heard him glanced at him for a second, then turned back to the screen.

TV-me stepped back in.

"**Okay, Nico! You heard what these girls had to say! So, which one will you pick to go on a date with?"**

The throne room was silent, as if the gods were leaning forward to hear his answer.

"**I choose…"**

"Hurry up, already!" Demeter said.

"**Girl number 1!"**

Applause echoed around the throne room.

"Silence!" Zeus cried. "We don't even know who it is yet!"

"**All right, now it's time to meet the girls you didn't pick!" **TV-me said. **"Let's hear it for girl number 3, Clarisse LaRue!"**

Ares's eyes widened.

"WHAT?!" he bellowed with rage.

"**And now give it up for girl number 2, Annabeth Chase!"**

Now it was Poseidon's turn to feel angry.

"HOW DARE SHE TRY TO CHEAT ON MY SON!" he roared, glowering at Athena.

"**And now, finally, here's the lucky girl who will hopefully be yours forever! Nico, meet your new girlfriend, Thalia Grace!"**

Artemis immediately stood up and shrieked.

"APHRODITE!"

I recoiled, shocked.

Artemis approached me, her loaded bow gleaming in her hands.

"MY CHIEF LIEUTENANT! ON A _D-DATE!_" she spluttered.

Apollo rushed over and tried to pull her back.

"Whoa, WHOA! Arty! Stop it!" he cried as he dragged her away from me.

"SILENCE!" Zeus thundered.

Everyone froze.

"That's better. Aphrodite, exactly how did you make these demigods agree to appear on your show?"

I slunk down in my throne, blushing.

"Well, I might have… sort of… gotten Hecate to put them in a trance," I said, my voice growing quieter with each word.

Instantly, Ares, Poseidon, and Artemis got out of their thrones and pounced on me.

"Stop it, all of you!" Athena warned. "Obviously, Aphrodite's meddling has once again caused some trouble. We will have things straightened out, and then hopefully Aphrodite will agree to no more of this nonsense."

I gasped. No more meddling?! But how else am I going to be able to spread love around the world?!

"Agreed," Zeus said. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm quite looking forward to seeing the rest of these shows."

Hephaestus nodded, and the night went on.


	14. Viewing: HERMES

**A/N: Hi again! I just wanted to recognize my newest reviewers:**

**rrfanman: Thank you! I am so happy you liked it!**

**Balletdancer5678: Yes! *FIST PUMPING* I wanted this story to be funny, so then mission accomplished! :D Thanks for reading!**

**Dubhe Epsilon: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought it was good!**

**Well, that's all I have to say, so enjoy this chapter!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**HERMES'S POV**

After the excitement of Aphrodite's show died down, Hephaestus continued.

"Now let's hear it for Hermes's show, Top 10 Pranks for Every Event!"

This brought looks from everyone in the throne room. I think they were starting to get a bit suspicious…

The video started off with a shot of me in the closet, explaining that I was going to pull a prank. Then TV-me got up and tripped, sending giggles around the room.

**"Di Immortales,"** TV-me cursed.

TV-me then froze after a knock on the door, and the camera paused. The video continued with a shot of both me and Apollo shortly before pulling the prank. Artemis shot him a look, as if to say, _"You were in on this? And you didn't tell me?!"_

**"Ok, show time!" **TV-me said.

The camera then showed Apollo walking up the the gods and screaming while I hid behind the couch.

**"SP-SPIDER! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIVES!"** TV-Apollo shrieked.

Aphrodite scoffed.

"That's sooo fake."

I leaned over to her.

"Then why were you screaming?"

She glared at me.

"I was not!"

I smirked, knowing what was coming next. The camera showed me slowly pulling on the fishing line while TV-Athena screamed.

**"IT'S ALIVE! AAAAHHH! SPIDER! AAAAHHH!"**

Athena rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Humph."

The camera zoomed out to show the other gods, and, sure enough, TV-Aphrodite was screaming almost as loud as TV-Athena.

I smirked at Aphrodite, and she turned away harshly.

"Told you so."

**"Guys, it's obviously a fake!"** TV-Hephaestus butted in. Why did he always have to ruin the excitement just when things were getting good?

Zeus chuckled.

"My dear, you sure seemed nauseous when Hephaestus dangled the spider from his fingertips," he said, smiling at Athena.

"Well, it isn't my fault that I'm spider-phobic!"

Apollo leaned over.

"Actually, the proper word is _arachnophobic_."

Both Athena and Artemis looked stunned that he not only knew this but had the guts to correct Athena.

Apollo grinned at Artemis and tapped his head. Artemis rolled her eyes; she had heard the god-of-prophecy-knows-things speech too many times before. They both focused their attention to the screen again, where TV-Hephaestus was about to bust me.

**"Hermes!" **

TV-me popped out, and yelled, **"Run for it!"**

TV-me and TV-Apollo ran out the door, and the shot changed to one of me after the prank.

**"Mission accomplished! Be sure to watch again: the next topic is 'Top 10 Pranks to Pull in a Throne Room!'"**

The gods immediately jumped up and backed away cautiously toward the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I held my hands up. "Guys, I'm not going to pull one now!"

Hera examined me.

"Careful, don't trust him yet…"

I groaned. Was this really necessary every time I needed to get someone to trust me?

"I swear it on the River Styx," I added monotonously.

The gods sighed in relief, and returned back to their seats. Some still looked like they weren't completely convinced that I wasn't up to something, though.

Once everyone was continued, Hephaestus returned to the front of the room.

"Shall we continue?"


	15. Viewing: DEMETER

**A/N: I'm back again! Thanks to my two new reviewers:**

**amycahill57: Thanks! I'm so happy you like it!**

**rrfanman: Haha, you guessed correctly! Oh, and one other thing...**

**I, SILENTWOLF111, HEREBY DUB THEE, RRFANMAN, MY NUMBER 1 REVIEWER WITH 5 REVIEWS SO FAR! ANYONE THINK YOU CAN BEAT THAT? (FEEL FREE TO TRY!) :)**

**Okay, enjoy the next chapter! **

**Peace out,**

**silentwolf111**

* * *

**DEMETER'S POV**

"Next we have Demeter's cooking show, Demeter's Delicious Delicacies!" Hephaestus announced.

Ah, finally. It's about time something sensible played! All we've seen so far is silly pranks, revenge, and more meddling by Aphrodite. I think it's time we watched something more, er, _appropriate._ Though Artemis's idea was very funny…

Hephaestus hit play, and my show began.

**"Good day, fellow gods, goddesses, and others!"** TV-me began.

Hades snorted.

"_Others_?" he said, mockingly.

It was all I could do to restrain myself from strangling the little brat.

**"In this show, I will be teaching you all how to make the best thing in the world! It is very useful, very healthy, very nutritious, and definitely delicious!"** TV-me continued.

Hermes sat up.

"Oh, Demeter, you're not making this show all about-"

**"CEREAL!"**

He was cut off by TV-me.

Hermes slumped back into his throne.

"I was afraid of that," he mumbled.

Throughout the duration of my show, I was surprised to find that most of the gods weren't paying attention! How could they possibly not want to pay attention to something so important as cereal?! There must be something wrong with them!

I scanned the room, taking note of what every god was doing. Zeus, Dionysus, and Hades were asleep (need I even say once more that he is a despicable Death Brat?), Aphrodite was picking at her nails, Ares was examining his reflection in his knife blade, Apollo was listening to his iPod again, Artemis was picking at a piece of lint on her dress, Hephaestus was fiddling with a piece of wire, and the others were politely doing their best not to zone out.

"Brother, wake up." Poseidon nudged Zeus with the tip of his trident.

Zeus snorted, then opened his eyes.

"Huh? Whaz goin on?" he slurred drowsily.

"The show's over," Poseidon said.

Hephaestus got up and lazily walked to the front of the room.

"Yes. Well, thank you, Demeter. We all enjoyed that rather, er, _exciting_ display."

I scoffed. Enjoyed it? As if.

"Okay, next up, we have…"


	16. Viewing: APOLLO

**A/N: All right! So I was able to get another chapter done- not bad! And a message to my new reviewers:**

**rrfanman: Sorry it wasn't Athena, I didn't see your review until I had already finished writing this chapter! But hey, you never know; she could be next! (wink, wink!)**

**Balletdancer5678: Haha, well, now you know who's next! Sorry about the suspense, that's just the way I like to write... XD Kinda funny, since suspense always kills me too...**

**That's it! Stay awesome!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**APOLLO'S POV**

I scrolled through the songs on my iPod, trying to pick the right one. Wait, what's this one? _Lullaby?_ What on Olympus is that?! I don't remember downloading that…

I picked the song, and sighed as peaceful music started to play. I closed my eyes and smiled.

"Aaah! Pretty music…" I giggled as I started to slip into Dreamland.

I felt a hand tap my shoulder, and swatted it away. Nothing was going to ruin this perfect moment!

The hand tapped me again, harder, and I slapped it.

"Mmm," I murmered, on the verge of sleep.

Suddenly, the earphones were ripped violently out of my ears, and I jolted upright.

"GAH!" I exclaimed, rubbing my ears.

My sister smirked at me, my earphones dangling from her hands. I snatched them back, and scowled at her.

"Arty! That hurt!"

She rolled her eyes (surprise, surprise!).

"Oh, Apollo, don't start that again!"

"I'm not kidding! That _really_ hurt!"

I rubbed my ears harder. Then I looked around the throne room to see everyone staring at me.

"Um, something you guys want to say?"

Hermes looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"You were giggling… And I got it on tape!"

My eyes widened.

"NO! Gimme that-"

I tackled Hermes, trying to grab his phone. I felt someone pull me off him, and turned around to find my sister glaring at me again.

"You have to do this here? You maniac. Anyway, it's your turn."

I looked back at her, confused.

"For what?"

She scoffed, like I was supposed to know the answer.

"Apollo, sometimes I wonder how we're related. Your show! Are you going to watch or not?"

I blushed, and went back to my own throne.

The screen went black, and my show started.

**"From the beginning of time, people all around the world have been sure about one fact," **a voice announced. **"A fact so obvious, it's impossible for it not to be true."**

"The definition of 'fact' is 'a true statement'. How can a fact not be true?" Athena muttered.

**"This fact is so widely known, and everyone agrees with it. So what is this amazing, obvious, widely known fact? Apollo is awesome."**

Artemis jeered, and shot me a look.

The scene then changed to a shot of me and Arty standing on a stage.

"Wait, I don't remember-" Artemis began.

**"Sup, everybody! Welcome to the first episode of 'Apollo is Awesome!' This show focuses on me and my many talents! Now, first things first: the haiku of the day!" **TV-me said.

Everyone groaned, and some even covered their ears. Harsh.

**"My hair is awesome**

**And so is everything else**

**About me!"**

TV-me smiled proudly and bowed.

"Last line is 3 syllables," Arty mumbled.

**"The last line is 3 syllables," **TV-Arty pointed out.

Whoa. Deja vu.

**"Oh, let's see you make a better one!"** TV-me challenged.

TV-Arty thought for a while, then snapped her fingers.

**"Very annoying**

**Brother who annoys all gods**

**Apollo, you dope."**

Everyone in the throne room applauded and cheered, while Artemis smiled triumphantly.

I crossed my arms. Looks like today's Let's Annoy and Insult Apollo Day! Yay me.

**"That was not better than mine!"** TV-me argued.

**"Was too," **TV-Arty replied.

**"Not!"**

**"TOO!"**

**"No, it **_**wasn't!"**_

**"Yes, it **_**was!"**_

"For crying out loud, will someone stop the video?!" Hera said, covering her ears.

"On it!" Hephaestus pressed the pause button, just as TV-Arty's mouth was half open.

I snorted at this, and Arty shot me a look.

"Aww, they were in the middle of a good fight!" Ares whined.

Hestia shook her head and sighed.

Artemis looked at me again, puzzled.

"Hold on, Apollo, I don't remember agreeing to be on your show! How did you get me in there?"

I braced myself for her reaction.

"Um, yes. About that- well, Aphrodite might have kinda told me about how she used Hecate to put a trance on people, so I wanted to try it out on you, please don't hurt me!" I said quickly in one breath.

Silence from Artemis.

I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for her blow. When it didn't come, I peeked one eye open and saw my sister sitting there, deep in thought.

"You're n-not mad?" I asked.

She looked at me.

"When someone has to live with you for eternity, they get used to your mistakes. I'm not mad."

I was extremely surprised at this.

"B-but, I thought you-? Why would-? _Huh_?" was all I could get out.

Artemis smiled smugly.

"I wasn't finished. I'm not mad, because I made a better haiku than you, and I didn't even know what I was doing or where I was."

I slumped back into my throne and put my earphones back in. Yup, good old Arty. Always there to cheer me up!

I scrolled through the songs, and something caught my eye. _Child's Bedtime Song… _Funny, I don't remember downloading this either!

I pressed play, and instantly that warm feeling I loved so much came back.

I closed my eyes.

"Aaah, pretty music…"


	17. Viewing: ATHENA

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry the update took so long, I was busy with school! Anyway, thanks to my latest reviewer:**

**rrfanman: Right again! :) Bet you can't guess who's next... ;)**

**All right, enjoy!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

**ATHENA'S POV**

"Well then! Now we have Athena's show, called 'The Truth About Myths'." Hephaestus declared.

Murmers of approval ran across the room.

I sat up tall, satisfied by the immediate reaction.

"And now let us-" Hephaestus began.

"-Aaah, pretty music!" Apollo interrupted, smiling with his eyes closed.

Giggles erupted everywhere.

Hermes laughed, and motioned for Artemis to wake him up. She shook her head.

"No, don't. He'll just go back to sleep right away," she explained.

Hephaestus shifted.

"All right, then. Let's start!" Hephaestus said.

The show started with a shot of me in my library.

**"Hello! I decided to create this show for one reason: To prove silly mortal thoughts wrong. As we all know, mortals have their ways of making sense out of the Mist. They get things wrong almost every single time. However, this isn't always the case: Some myths have been created by mortals who can see through the Mist. This is the case of the myth I'm going to be reviewing today…"**

"Finally, something worthwhile to watch!" Hera sighed.

**"This myth involves me and Poseidon in a competition to earn the respect of the citizens of Greece! And I totally won. Obviously."**

Poseidon looked at me, a bit annoyed.

"Something tells me this isn't going to turn out well," Hephaestus said.

**"As the mortals tell it, I gave them a helpful olive tree while Poseidon gave them a salt water fountain. A pathetic, no good, salt water fountain. Suits him to give that kind of gift."**

Poseidon looked at me again, this time with anger sparking in his eyes.

**"So, of course, the people of Athens chose me as their winner and named their beloved city after me. I'm here to confirm that story is 100% true. After all, i****t was the right choice, choosing me over that no good, pathetic, disgusting, horrid little-"**

Hephaestus paused the screen.

"Okay, I think we've seen enough."

Poseidon turned to me, his trident in his hand and eyes murderously flashing at me.

"Athena, this has gone too far! Insulting such a powerful god on public television?! What did I do to you?!"

I glared at him.

"The IM! You scoundrel, you, thinking it was fun to send me an IM showing the middle of your spawn's date with my daughter?!"

Poseidon put down his trident and looked at me, confused.

"I never did that!"

"You liar!" I jeered.

"No, I'm serious! I never did that!"

By the look in his eyes, I (unfortunately) realized he was telling the truth.

"W-Well, then, who did?"

Aphrodite grinned.

"Oh my gods, the goddess of wisdom doesn't know something?! I must be dreaming!"

I shot her a look.

"So, then, who did it? Come on, afraid to show yourself to me?" I snarled.

Ares then raised his hand.

"YOU!" I screeched.

"Hey, Athena, it was nothing! Just wanted to get a nice little fight going on! Ya know, to liven things up!"

"YOU DARE MESS WITH ME!" I screamed, flinging myself at Ares.

Zeus stood up.

"SILENCE!" he roared.

Everyone stopped instantly.

"Thank you. Athena, you know Ares. He's always itching to fight, even if we don't like it," he said, glancing at Ares.

Ares shrugged.

"Now, I would like to keep watching. Hephaestus, who's next?" Zeus asked.

Hephaestus shifted.

"Well, now we have…"


	18. Viewing: BIG THREE

**A/N: Hello again! Wanted to thank my 3 new reviewers:**

**Mai968: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)**

**megameghamango: Thanks so much! ;) I'm happy you found it funny!**

**rrfanman: Oh my gods, right again! Maybe you should replace Rachel as the oracle... :) And thank you again for reading! **

**Ok, that's all I have to say!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**ZEUS'S POV**

"Now we have Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades working together…" Hephaestus read, slowing down as if he couldn't believe what he was saying.

Gasps around the room.

"On their show, 'What to do When You Have Limitless Power,'" Hephaestus finished, wincing.

Artemis scoffed.

"And I thought Apollo had a huge ego," she muttered, looking at her snoring brother.

The show started, and I have to say, it was incredible.

Me, Hades, and Poseidon were the roof of the Empire State Building.

**"Greetings, viewers. Today we're here to show you how powerful gods like us can channel our power into something useful: satisfaction."** TV-me said.

"Yes, to yourselves," Dionysus said.

**"For example," **TV-Poseidon said. **"If I got angry, I could summon a flood to wipe out an entire city. Like this."**

TV-Poseidon summoned a huge wave that was about to crash over the city until it suddenly receded and headed back toward the ocean.

**"Not bad, brother. But, alas, I can do better." **TV-me remarked.

TV-me summoned a massive electric storm that was about to electrocute the city.

**"Oh, please. Watch this." **TV-Hades mustered a vast skeleton army that enveloped the city in endless darkness.

TV-me interfered.

**"No, no, Hades. That's much too depressing. Now, electrocuting citizens until they are fried to a crisp? Much more fun."**

**"Brothers, how about this?" **TV-Poseidon suggested. **"I'll conjure up a huge sea monster."**

TV-Poseidon snapped his fingers and instantly a gigantic sea monster rampaged throughout the city, destroying everything in its path.

**"Oh dear, how about we fix this mess before having more fun?" **TV-me asked.

"Hephaestus, would you stop it now?" Hestia requested.

Hephaestus nodded and paused the TV.

I groaned.

"Aww, we were just getting to the fun part!"

Hestia looked at me, Poseidon, and Hades.

"All this show is is total destruction. We all know that's your interpretation of 'fun'!"

The gods in the room turned to me and nodded.

My eyebrows shot up.

"_ME?_ Well, I can be fun! I can be very fun!"

"Prove it," Demeter suggested.

"Now how am I supposed to do that?"

"Just do something," Athena said.

I brought out my lightning bolt and was about to send it flying when Hestia stopped me.

"Eh eh eh! No more destruction."

I huffed. If I can't destroy things for fun, then what to do next?

I scanned the room until my eyes rested on my sleeping wife, Hera. I smiled, remembering what Artemis had done to Apollo's pictures. I was beginning to formulate a plan…

"Hephaestus, do you have any permanent markers? 'Sharpies', as the mortals call them?"

Hephaestus reached into his toolbelt and tossed me a black sharpie.

I leaned over Hera, and uncapped the marker.

Aphrodite squealed.

"Oh, wow! That's more like it! Ooh, she's going to be so mad…"

I swallowed. She was right, but why not have some fun anyway? I need to prove those gods wrong.

I started drawing all over Hera's face, adding random spirals everywhere. Why, this was fun! Hmm, now time to kick it up a notch!

I reached across Hera's face, and added a lightning bolt to the middle of her forehead. Athena smiled and nodded. (She had forced me to read the _Harry Potter _series, claiming that I needed to have some knowledge about the mortal fiction world. Looks like I had done my homework, because she seemed pleased.)

"There, done!" I exclaimed.

This was going to be fun! But until then…

"Hephaestus, put one more show on, will you?" I requested.

"All right! Ok, get ready for.."


	19. Viewing: ARES

**A/N: Hey! Like usual, wanted to thank my reviewers:**

**newage416: Hahaha! You gotta love Hades... :)**

**rrfanman: Yeah, I've always wanted to be one too! I bet it would be fun... :) **

**Okay, I'm not going to keep you waiting any longer! **

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**ARES'S POV**

"Now we have Ares's show, 'How to Beat Anyone in a Fight'," Hephaestus said.

Just then, Hera shifted in her throne, and started to wake up.

"Everyone shush!" Aph said.

We all quieted down and watched as Hera slightly opened her eyes to see us all looking at her.

"What are you looking at?" she asked sleepily.

Hermes stifled a laugh.

"Why don't you see for yourself?"

He held up a mirror to Hera's face. As she studied her reflection, her eyes grew wider and angrier.

"ZEUS!" she bellowed.

Zeus nervously swallowed.

"Y-yes, dearest?" He asked.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" she screamed in rage.

"Just showing everyone I can have a little f-fun!" He said cautiously.

"BY DRAWING LIGHTNING ON MY FACE?!" Hera roared.

"You can just take it off with your powers," Zeus added.

The entire time, I was just sitting there enjoying the whole thing. Haha, yes! Finally, some excitement around this boring old place!

She looked up, as though she forgot she was a goddess and could change her appearance.

"Yes, but still!" she said awkwardly.

Zeus lifted an eyebrow.

"Still what?"

"I-I really don't know."

With that, she made the marks disappear from her face. Everyone sighed in relief (except for me) that Zeus and Hera were no longer fighting. Man, those fights sure get scary sometimes… exactly why I love them best of all.

In his throne nearby, Apollo started stirring in his sleep from the noise Hera had made.

"What's going on?" he asked, squinting at us.

"You missed it! Zeus drew all over Hera's face to show us he's fun, and Hera got sooo mad!" Aph squealed.

Now Apollo was wide awake.

"I missed that?! Why didn't you wake me up?!" he cried to Artemis.

Artemis simply shrugged.

"Apollo, as you would say, 'Chillax'. Trust me, you wouldn't have wanted to see that."

Apollo still didn't look satisfied, and grumbled as he crossed his arms.

"Shall we?" Hephaestus suggested, turning everyone's attention to the screen where my show began to play.

TV-me stood in front of Cabin 5 at Camp Half-Blood.

**"Hello, punks! Today me and my kids are gonna show you guys how to beat people in a fight! The easy way, that is. Now, we've chosen a victim for this first showing! And the lucky winner is…"**

The gods leaned forward, anxious to hear the answer.

**"Percy Jackson!"**

"Woo!" I stood up and cheered along with Hera and Zeus.

Poseidon was still, his face paler than ever.

**"Now, first, what we do is-"**

"STOP THE SHOW!"

Well, well, it looks like Poseidon had finally found his voice.

Hephaestus quickly stopped the screen.

"Aww!" I groaned along with Hera and Zeus.

Poseidon glared at me.

"I cannot watch this! Why would you pick my son to use as bait for your lessons?! You will tear him to pieces!"

I looked at him, suddenly angry.

"Your son claims he beat me in a fight! ME!"

Athena turned to me.

"That's because he did! We all know that! Give it a rest, it happened such a long time ago!"

I clenched my fists, and tried my best not to release my fury right then.

"I can't let this go. I am the god of war! I'm not meant to be upshown!"

To everyone's surprise, it was Hades who spoke next.

"Ares, you need to try to let it go. Just a little. Stop torturing the poor boy, you've already cursed his fighting skills! Besides, he's gone through enough in his short life!"

I was still furious. But, for everyone else's sake, I kept quiet and leaned back in my throne.

Hephaestus cleared his throat.

"Well, then, if we're done with this show-" he looked sympathetically at Poseidon, "why don't we carry on? I believe there's one more left…"


	20. Viewing: DIONYSUS

**A/N: Just wanted to thank my last reviewer:**

**rrfanman: Whoa, right again! :) I guess it was kinda obvious, though...**

**Okay! Keep reading!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**DIONYSUS'S POV**

"Lastly we have Dionysus with 'Wine: A History'." Hephaestus said, turning cautiously toward Zeus.

"Why would you let that maniac drink wine?!" Demeter argued.

All right, I'll try not to take that offensively. After all, I am the GOD of wine.

Zeus shrugged.

"We made a deal."

The screen played, and my show started.

**"Good day. You're watching one of the most pleasing shows that have to do with wine! It brings pleasure; to me!" **TV-me said.

Zeus raised an eyebrow, starting to think this was a bad idea.

**"First we will be sampling some delicious wine made from no other than our own Camp Half Blood!"**

Everyone turned to me in disgust.

"You forced our children to make WINE?!" Aphrodite said, a look of horror on her face.

"Yes, and for your own pathetic usage no less!" Athena added.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wine is not pathetic; and I should know." I corrected.

We turned our attention back to the screen, where TV-me was sampling the wine.

**"Whoa! This wine is making me sleeeepy." **TV-me said, swaying. **"Mmm, this is sooo yummy. Just like mommy used to make it!"**

TV-me giggled, and the gods in the throne room backed away from me uncomfortably.

**"Hey! Peter Johnson. Come here! I want to give you a biiiiiig huuug!"** TV-me said, grinning uncontrollably.

We watched as Johnson headed toward the drunk TV-me, and screamed in agony as TV-me squeezed him hard. Hermes and Apollo took out their phones and started taking a video.

Poseidon looked at me, sickened by my actions.

"Why is it always Percy," he muttered.

Meanwhile, on TV, a Hunter of Artemis was walking by Camp when TV-me stopped her.

**"Hey, pretty lady! Come over here and give your favorite god a big, sloppy, KISS!"**

Artemis's eyes flashed murderously at me while Aphrodite giggled, pleased.

"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO KISS MY HUNTERS!" Artemis screamed.

"I was drunk! Besides, Apollo does it all the time!" I complained.

"Yes, because he's a senseless being!"

Apollo turned to us.

"Arty, you're mean!"

Artemis scolded him while Aphrodite looked at me, happily smiling.

"Oh, Dionysus, I never knew you had a romantic side to you!" she cooed.

Hephaestus stared at her viciously until she retreated.

It was Poseidon's turn to speak up.

"All right, why don't we stop this before things get even uglier?" he suggested.

A chorus of approval echoed throughout the room.

Suddenly, Hephaestus stood up.

"Everyone, listen up! I have a special surprise that I know you are going to enjoy…"


	21. Surprise, surprise!

**A/N: Thank you to my last reviewer:**

**MatildaSue: Thanks for reading! :) Don't worry, I will update til this thing's done... and that will be very soon! ;)**

**Okay, and here's the surprise!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**HEPHAESTUS'S POV**

"I have a special surprise for you!" I announced.

Like I thought, every god in the room instantly turned toward me, eager to know what I had in store for them.

"Well, first off, I would like to tell you that ratings are up!" I said.

Everyone cheered.

"And, as thanks to those who took the time to create shows, I am going to be hosting the first every Hephaestus TV Awards! Viewers vote on whose show they like best, and the winners get awards!"

Aphrodite had a suggestion.

"Really, sweetie, couldn't you call it something cuter?"

I frowned.

"Like what, exactly?"

"Well, in the mortal world, they have these things called Oscars. Maybe you could call these the Olympian Oscars!"

I sighed.

"All right. Sound good?"

The gods cheered again.

"Okay!" I announced. "May the best gods win!"

* * *

*****IMPORTANT A/N: All right, time to vote! I created a poll on my PROFILE PAGE, so be sure to vote for the god(s) you think should win the Olympian Oscars! May the best god win, and may the force be with you!**


	22. The Results Are In!

**A/N: This is it! The moment you've all been waiting for! But first, thanks to my two new reviewers...**

**rrfanman and NeonHedgehog: Thank you both for voting! I hope you enjoy this chapter... :)**

**All right, I'm not going to keep you in suspense any longer!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**

* * *

**HEPHAESTUS'S POV**

"All right, everyone! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the first ever Olympian Oscars! And best of all, this is being shown live on Hephaestus TV right now!" I said happily.

The gods cheered.

I, for one, was glad they chose to wear proper attire; it would do wonders for my ratings. Of course, Aphrodite had overdone it again. But, must I say, she does look fantastic…

Athena and Artemis were both wearing dresses, Artemis's glowing silver to bring out her eyes. Hera and Demeter were also wearing dresses, Hera's crafted out of silken peacock feathers and Demeter's made of- wait, was that actual _grass_? Sometimes I don't know what to think of that woman.

As for the boys, it looks like they had been somewhat forced into proper apparel. Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades were all wearing suits, Hades looking rather uncomfortable. Wow, it even looked like he had combed his hair out of his face….

Artemis had forced Apollo and Hermes into suits as well, and both were squirming awkwardly, picking at their collars while occasionally shooting nasty looks at Artemis.

I wasn't so lucky myself; having Aphrodite as a wife, she had to tackle me in order to get me into a somewhat nice shirt and pair of pants. To be perfectly honest, I didn't like this any more than Hades, Apollo, and Hermes.

Well, it looked like everyone was ready, so I carried on.

"Ahem. And now, in third place, we have the one and only ATHENA!"

Applause filled the room, and Athena walked onstage with her head held high, smirking at Poseidon as she accepted her award.

"Carrying on," I said. "It looks like we have a three way tie for second place! Give it up for Apollo, Hermes, and the Big 3…"

I slowed down as I read that last one. Huh, I never would have thought that destroying things at random attracted more viewers. Who would have known…

The five gods walked up to the stage, Apollo grinning crazily at his sister. He grabbed the mike from me.

"Oh yes! Beat _that_, Arty!"

Artemis huffed.

"Oh, I intend to…" she muttered under her breath.

I snatched the mike back, and got ready to announce the number one winner.

"And the winner is…"

I flipped open the card.

"Oh, and by a landslide, we have ARTEMIS!"

The crowd went wild.

Apollo gaped as his sister made her way up to the stage and held her trophy high.

"Wait, if you won, that means people like seeing me suffer?!" he said, awestruck with horror.

Artemis simply smiled.

"Brother, though you are the god of oracles, you are quite slow, aren't you? Of course people like seeing you suffer from my hand. I know I most certainly do."

Apollo could only stand there while Artemis continued to proudly flaunt her win.

"What a wonderful way to kick off the new and improved Hephaestus TV! Join us next time!" I said.

_AFTERWARD…_

**ARTEMIS'S POV**

"Ooh, Arty! Let me see it!" Aphrodite squealed, reaching for my trophy.

I pulled it away from her.

"No, I will not let you make your 'bling' out of it. And don't call me Arty!"

It was the day after Oscar night, and the news of my win was still buzzing. Of course, I liked the attention! The same couldn't be said for my dear brother…

I can't believe this had all started a week ago, and I was already this successful! I guess I am pretty clever, aren't I? Oh, wait, I'm starting to sound like Apollo. Oh dear.

We were all gathered in the throne room, talking things over when Hephaestus suddenly looked up from his laptop, a sneaky but excited smile on his face.

"He's getting an idea," Hermes whispered to me.

Sure enough, Hephaestus announced his new discovery to us.

"Have you guys ever heard of the mortal site YouTube?"

THE END!

* * *

**A/N: THIS CALLS FOR A SEQUEL! Luckily, I know someone who can do the job... Moi! That's right, get ready for... "YouTube? Not Anymore!" Be sure to check on my profile for updates! I'm going to be starting any time soon...**


	23. Thank You!

**A/N: Thanks again to all my reviewers, favoriters, and followers! And now, recognizing…**

**REVIEWERS: (* means guest)**

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**ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ, REVIEW, FOLLOW, AND FAVORITE! STAY AWESOME!**

**Peace out,**

**~silentwolf111**


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